Fresholi | Melting Pot Café

Hello all,

I was looking for advice really. What to do when your lovely wife spends all her evenings making potions and lotions; makes the house smell like a soap shop, and shouts at you if you dare try to make a cup of tea while she is 'creating.' I mean it wouldn't be so bad if she was making lots of money, and I could become a 'kept' man, but alas, she gives it all away! Am I destined to a life of being the one who gets in the way, or is there hope, a light, a glimmer of chance I might get some attention?

Yours truly,
Paul
A natural and organic widower.

Dear MPW

Well, the only real advice I can give is this:
If your lovely wife is a soap addict (there aren't really any on here so can't advise properly  ::) ) then you should:

1  Keep clear of kitchen at all times whilst creating is going on
2  Try very hard not to glaze over when she is describing her latest creation (this induces more rage)
3  As to the making money side of things, she has to keep learning until she can start earning -   advisable not mention this at any stage of creating
4  Enjoy the lovely aromas wafting from the kitchen
5  Enjoy the benefits of handmade soap etc
6  Err, run out of advice now.

Other non-addicts may be along later to offer more sympathy advice.

Yours addictedly
JJ

PS Do we know your lovely wife on here by any chance?  ::)

 :mwaha:  Poor you  :'(  She's a member here is she? Could be any one of us  ;D

hello darling so you found me !!!!!!!

hee hee

My word - so much advice - so much to take in! Can't I just take my debit card from her??

And you know her as Pixie. I know her as 'it's your turn to make the tea.'

You could start a soap-widowers support group Paul  :mwaha:  I'm sure a lot of our OH/DH's would join you

Damn! Busted.

Oh, by the way, this thread will go on forever. Pixie always has to have the last word, see.

Poor Paul.

You need an equally addictive pastime to remove you from her vicinity when she's stirring the pot.

Do you have a Shed?

A shed? I'm only 25!

Actually.. I'd love a shed.

Pixie, can I have a shed?

(I won't be allowed, you just watch.)

 :woohoo:  Good work Pixie.  :mwaha:

You're a brave man Paul.  We did have a few male persons on here but they all seem to have disappeared for some strange reason.  Can't for the life of me figure out why.  :shrug:

Maybe Kes'll step in and you can start a MPW club together.


Ooh, just seen MPW's latest thread.  He's a feisty one.  Girls..........at the ready...........charge.  :popcorn:

Right behind ya JJ

Yebbut, in a shed you can make some cheap wine or something  ;)

Maybe a non-soapaholic support board might be a good idea -  you could swap ideas on how to pass your time while you get booted out of the kitchen  :idea:

Pix - let him have a shed, fair's fair!

Fresholi Wines - got a nice ring to it that H.

Yeah, P let him have a shed - but may I suggest a lock so he can't escape & interrupt creating?

Good thinking JJ  :mwaha:

You know what they say - IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM ! So start making soap with her, bet you could outswirl her if you tried!

Even better idea LLL  :mwaha:

hahaha paul you may have a shed  but first of all lets not let these ladies think your'e hard done too  . . . . .

aren't you the one who asked me to create you some car waxes to make you money !!!!!   

and please don't take your debit card off me "i promise i'll make the next cup of tea!"

Its in writing now Paul, she's gonna make the next cuppa  ;)

We haven't scared him off already have we P?

Probably  :mwaha:  Either that or he's putting up his new shed  ;)

Could be H.

hahahaha now that would be a laugh !!!!!

Where's he gone P?  Is he hiding somewhere quivering?  :mwaha:

Ok, so maybe he's browsing the Argos catalogue thinking about what shed his mate could probably put up for him  ;D

Crikey - all these suggestions. Thank you everyone, for your loving support.  (:hug:) Alas, I was a while in replying as the shackles took longer to undo than usual.

Awww, how sweet ladies.  He thinks we're loving & supportive  :mwaha:  Poor deluded man - needs to have a word with Kes methinks.

Shut your face you. I made a perfectly reasonable holder thingy for the hoover in my van the other day. So ner! Used nails and hammers, and wood and everyfin.

yeah and didn't it drop off !!!!!!!!

Blimey...  one is rather advanced.  Pixie, you painted such a different picture, shame on you.  Kes would be making suggestions me thinks only I have chained him to his computor sorting out that stoooooooooooooooooooopid error thingy.  

Is "holder thingy" a technical term for things in vans then?
Are you expecting it to drop off P?

Yeah, well my winky might as well, cos it never gets used!

Oo err  :egad:  Mr S's might from overuse  :mwaha:

You're in big trouble when Aunty Joy gets back  :mwaha: 
Mind you, she shut Mr S's club in the car door the other day so I don't think it's getting used much lately.

I like it here. It's fuuuunny. Now, about this car wax..

 :woohoo:  Another barmy one.

What's car wax?  ::)

Never heard of im  :shrug:

Just thought ladies, if Paul hangs around her long enough, I may have to remove that thread from the private lounge  :egad:

Seriously, you lot will be key to my world domination of the car wax world. And you'll all get 10%!



















Of the chocolate I buy when I've got 1 trillion dollars in the bank

What thread, what??  :tantrum:

Don't tell H.  :-X

Oh, and your generosity knows no bounds does it?  BTW, do we call you Paul; Justme: Just or what?

Call me Paul. Pixie signed up to a forum I advertise on and used the name justme, and started asking loads of stupid questions, and asking what to do when you don't see your husband much cos he's out 'washing his car.' Today I decided to return the gesture!

and i've just put paul up for sale on that other forum !

bidding is going well !

OK Paul.

Well, whatever gesture, it's nice to have you here too.  (You may think otherwise after a couple of nights  ::) )

Bidding well probably due to that "holder thingy".

don't mock my holder thingy - it's AWESOME.

Yes but you can understand Pixie highlighting your USP's Paul.


Well now, that WOULD be tellin' wouldn't it  ::)

What's a USP H?  :clueless:

Not again JJ  ::) and you say I'm in 1st class.  It is an Uptight Stressed Paul Person of course  (well I think it is  ;D)

Or if you are boring it is a Unique Selling Point  ;)

Just had a word with CC and he says the best advice he can give esp if you are 25 is you should be snuggling. Snuggles rule OK, that why we snuggle a lot because I'm only 21. But got to agree that you can have a shed, all fellas need a shed. CC has several, cow sheds.  :mwaha: And a lot of women. And a club with a wonky end. But also got to agree you could join her in making soapies and creams etc then you could take baths and showers together to see how they work etc and creams for massages.

Ewwwww.. with pixie? Are you joking?? I might catch something!

Well, there speaks the expert on these matters.  :mwaha:  Detailed instructions too.

I am back in economy H, but obviously on a flight to lalaland at the moment.

 :haha: @ Paul.  He's sooooo in a huge amount of trouble now.

Remove them shed privilages immediately Pixie and throw him in Joys cellar  :tantrum:

thats it your never getting anything ever again your BANNED !

and i'm storing all my soapy things in your shed too ! so ner

Well said P.

It was mentioned on another thread by a certain geeky type that it wouldn't take us lot long to "work him over".  I think a job well done there girls.

You can't *actually* ban someone from something they don't get in the first place.

So ner, back!

Fight.......Fight

 :popcorn:

Poor Paul, you like to live dangerously, maybe you should take up dangerous sports, BASE jumping sounds good. You are welcome to use the cellar any time, Only have a limited amount of equipment down there but I could get more.  :popcorn:

Please don't leave paul, it's lovely to have a guy we can work over chat with. And how come at your age you are getting any? Shame on you Pixie.

Told you you should have bought that whip the other day Joy.  You're gonna run out of equipment before long.

I shudda shund I? And them love cuffs and all.

too bloomin right I should! I mean, it's not my fault pixie is really old and 'too tired' all the time!

Deffo.  Drat.  Another visit to that kinky party shop is called for.

OK, just read the last post by Paul, and I don't think we'll be seeing him around much longer after that.

Shame really, a bit of nice male banter is just what we need eh ?

hahahaha your soooooo dead !

Oh fear not - pixie can give back just as good! IN fact, presently, she is accepting bids from folks on a forum I am on. Apparently I'm only worth a packet of cheesey poofs though..

No, dear, I think you'll find I am indeed alive and kicking. See, look, *pokes you in the head*

That's no way to refer to a group of men in Brighton - you could get in a lot of trouble for that.

Can ya make tea Paul? Do you put your dirty washing in the laundry basket? If you do I'll offer 5 packets.

no he can't he leaves it on the floor for the pixies too pick up !!! 

I'm a damn site better cook than Pixie. I am *rubbish* at putting my washing in the basket though. Make it 4 and a coupe of midget gems, and you've got a deal.

OK, 4 and a packet of midget gems and you're on. You OK with older women Paul?  ::)

Can ya keep up I mean?

Mint! And pixie is actually 28 years older than me. She denies it though - reckons she's only 33!

em i want the midget gems mind !

and he may not be able to keep up he has a tendancy of falling asleep !

 :mwaha:
Shouldn't that be a packet of "vertically-challenged gems" in this day & age of being pc?  ::)

I'm off for a snuggle so see ya all tomorrow.

Older women is obviously your thing PAul, I'm younger than you of course.  ::)

Night Joy.   (:hug:)

I'm orf too but not for a snuggle - just to see if my latest baby has started to gel yet.  I really need to get out more.

Ta ra

I'm off to bed too. I'm hoping all this fighting talk has made pixie weak at the knees, and amicable to a bit of snuggling!

Then again, I am also prepared to be sleeping in the spare room tonight. Highly likely. There's not even a bed in there!

Thanks for the warm welcome too. I shall be back, fear not! And you can all help me make my million dollar car wax. It can't be THAT different.  ;D
p
x

Don't forget the headache there Paul  :popcorn:

Must consult my little books and see if there's something there which can be adapted for cars - are we talking modern, classic or vintage?

What, my headache, or hers?

All of them!

woah, is he keen or is he keen, lol

Funny, all the girls say that.

Often in a hushed tone to their friends.

With their back turned to me.

 :mwaha:

So Paul, on a more serious note, any chance you can post to general discussion with an ingredients list of one of you car waxes?   ;D

already did ;)

Sorry I haven't read the last 6 pages but I wanted to say hello and welcome! Looks like you'll fit in brilliantly round here  :mwaha:

 :woohoo:

Hello...!

My other half calls himself a melting pot widower, but I'm sure the only reason he became one is because he made me an.. xbox 360 widow.

People complain that their hubby spends all the time playing, but it keeps him busy!  :mwaha:

And out of trouble  :mwaha:

Well yes, it's great, I know where he is all the time and he still gets to socialise with his friends every evening!  ;D

What a very positive POV - I  like your thinking   :mwaha: